I Celebrate

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So if you follow my blog you’re probably thinking, “Emm, who?” I have been a complete failure at fun or blogging this year.

It has taken almost all of 2017 for me to accept that it’s okay to let some of my writing responsibilities go for a while. This has been one of the most emotionally challenging years I have ever had. And when things fall apart around you, you instantly go into triage mode. Which is where I’ve been all year. But instead of complaining, I’m going to celebrate how strong I am. Because, dammit, I have not stopped getting dressed and keeping a schedule.

I celebrate that although I believe in my latest story and all the work that I’ve put into it for two years, still I can face rejections with grace and an open mind.

I celebrate that after losing one of our sweet grandmothers at Easter, that my kids knew her so well. I celebrate that I have no regrets about spending those long and hard hours in a care center with her every Sunday while we could.

I celebrate that my sister-in-law knew how dearly I loved her, even though I couldn’t prevent her death. I celebrate her amazing laugh and her bleeding heart. I celebrate every Christmas together, listening to each other, laughing and withholding judgement. I celebrate home videos of her dancing and laughing with my girls. I celebrate seventeen beautiful years with her free and kind spirit.

I celebrate that money comes and goes. And when I’ve had unexpected things come up this year financially, that I have a best friend and life partner to laugh through the stress with–that I have the most thoughtful and supportive family anyone could hope to have.

I celebrate seeing my children handle repeated loss and trauma with bravery and grace.

I celebrate almost finishing my first semester of college after twelve years away from it. I celebrate attending my classes and trying to get what I can from them while our home life was chaos.

I celebrate returning to the draft which has been neglected for far too long, because mental health and my family’s well-being will always come first.

I celebrate those who pursue their dreams, with no guarantee of success or validation.

I celebrate a great number of friends who have not had a great year either, but who think of me in the midst of their own struggles. And I celebrate their courage to keep trying when it’s easier to just give up and be jaded.

I celebrate those I see in our current political madness, who are kind, good, and who refuse to let hate and anger win.

I celebrate those who take the time to call, pray, or extend help to each other.

I celebrate comfort foods and a book with a bubble bath, for those days when I can’t anymore.

You get my point. This year has been shitty. But I can say I’ve learned more about myself than ever before.

I’ve accepted there are things I can’t change, as cliche as it sounds.

I’ve accepted my heart can shatter more than once and still keep beating.

I’ve accepted that I’m incredibly lucky to have the people I do have in my life. They’re the only people I’d ride into a zombie apocalypse with, a hundred times over.

More than anything, I’ve accepted I won’t be bitter. I will be kind and shoulder others. I will cheer them on and hold them when they feel like they’re failing. Because I know what it feels like this year to fall short and just hang in there.

None of us are failures. Every day that we get up and try is a success. Every time we help someone or lend a smile or listen, we are winning.

Maybe by 2018 I’ll have some funny and entertaining posts to share. But I always write my truth, no matter how many edits and rewrites it may need.

Here’s to rewriting 2017 into a beautiful, inspired 2018. I wish you all the same.

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4 Comments on "I Celebrate"

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❤️ Love this. Life is full of ups and downs. This year was definately a mixed bag for me. Some really great things happened and some not so great happened. I do my best to take it all in stride and remember that “this too shall pass”. Here’s to a better 2018! May it be the best year yet!

Beautifully written. I’m celebrating right alongside you, my dear. I’m so sorry for your losses … xoxo